Grace Awakening

So, you’re going through a tough time, or maybe you’re not.  Perhaps your life is going smooth with no bumps, twists, or radical turns.  Perhaps your tough time in life has already occurred.  Perhaps you are in that natural condition of being a token Christian, and you have no desire to grow beyond “normal” church attendance and the occasional “Lord, I need Your help today” prayer.  Regardless of where you are in your spiritual life, there is one thing that you and I need to constantly remind ourselves of – God is God.

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One of the unique characteristics of the bog is that of its hostile environment. 

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Frank Sinatra sang the song, “I Did it My Way.”  Burger King has popularized the saying, “Have it Your Way.”  In general, our society today practices the philosophy of “My Way is Best.”

I do a lot of driving for my job:  5 – 6 hours a day as a matter of fact.  In recent days, I’ve turned off the radio and started to do a lot of thinking.  It has really been a time that God has used to work in me, and an opportunity to mull over some of the lessons God has taught me and is still teaching me.

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The day started out bright and sunny.  The birds sang their sweet song and flitted from tree to tree.  Only a few fluffy, fair weather clouds punctuated the beautiful blue sky.  Anyman whistled as he walked along the firm, certain path and content to enjoy the beauty of the day and to praise the Creator for all that is good.  He talked at times with his traveling Companion, a delightful Friend he had met many years ago.

For the last few months I have been walking and living in hell.  The pain of this Crucible is greater than I can bear.  The lessons that I have learned, at times, seem pointless.  My faith and dependence on God wavers and threatens to shatter into a million pieces.  In the wavering of my faith and trust in the faithful God, my eyes fall to my circumstances and the wounding of my heart aches for the solace of God’s healing touch.  In the torment of my Crucible I wonder, “Why, God?  How much more do I need to endure?  How much more pain can You put me through?”  The answer resounds with deadening silence.  There is nothing but emptiness and hopelessness to comfort the wounds and the shaken soul.

Ready For Peace

Then Jacob was left alone, and a man wrestled with him until daybreak.

Genesis 32:24 

I used to work in a lumber yard.  I was strong then.  I used to be able to carry 80# bags of Redi Mix and stacks of lumber on my shoulder without a second thought.  Just about everyone I worked with there in the yard was strong.  One day, as my team closed up the yard for the evening, two of the guys decided to wrestle during the last half hour of our day (we had very few customers at that time of day).  So, these two started wrestling.  They grappled and squeezed and wrestled, trying to gain the advantage over the other.  It was funny to watch them as they neared the end of the match.  The two men leaned on each other with their arms resting on each others shoulders.  It ended up a draw, and the two wrestlers limped to a stack of lumber and collapsed in exhaustion.  And that was just about a half hour match.

I went reeling this evening.  To call it “fishing” would imply that I knew what I was doing.  I went primarily to meet God and to talk with Him.  Basically, I needed to get square with God about lighting my own torch and trying to make it through the darkness on my own.  The reality is that I keep bumping into things that cause pain.  What I need to do is to put down the torch and let it burn out while taking hold of God’s hand and letting Him lead the way.

I’m not a dancer.  I dance with the grace of an ox.  Not only that, I feel like a buffoon swaying back and forth and turning around in small circles and never really getting anywhere.  It makes me want to stop at the gas station and ask directions.  Now, I have to admit that I have only danced with my wife on a few occasions; so you might be justified in saying that I have never given dancing a try.  That’s fine, because this isn’t about dancing either.