How can we men be the pastors of our homes? Simple. Let me show you.
First, the word “pastor” comes from the Greek poimen [poimhn] (the ‘e’ pronounced as a long ‘a’). It means a shepherd. They are the guys that would be outside caring for the sheep. The shepherd would guide and lead the sheep to good food and fresh water. The shepherd also protected the sheep from danger. He also went in search of the lost sheep. Shepherds also were sometimes hired for the job by the owner of the sheep. A good shepherd made sure that the master suffered no loss, so he did his best to take very good care of the sheep.
Men, God has charged us with the incredible responsibility of shepherding our wives. This means that we ought to be her spiritual leader and guide. We ought to care for her and provide for her and protect her from dangers because we will one day give account to the Master for the way that we cared for the great treasure He gave to our care. It is vitally important that we men rely mightily on the power and wisdom of God to do the best with His glorious Treasure whom He has given to you.
Second, in the listing of qualifications for the pastor, Paul cites in 1 Timothy 3:4 that the pastor must manage his house well (the KJV has “rule”). The word translated “manage” is the Greek proistemi [proisthmi]. It is a rare New Testament word used only 8 times and means “to preside over.” It refers to the exercise of authority with care and discretion. God has placed the mantle of leadership on our shoulders, men. We can squirm all we want, but the fact of the matter is that God has told us to lead our wives. In Ephesians 5:23 Paul tells us that we are the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church. We are to take on the role of servant-leader. It is the example that we have in Christ. We are not to be dictators. For us to lead well, we have to rely heavily on the power and wisdom of God to lead well His glorious Treasure whom He has given to you.
Third, going to Ephesians 5:25 God tells us to love our wives as Christ loved the church. As your wife’s pastor you are going to have to sacrifice yourself daily at the altar of God. More so than any other thing, it is our job, gentlemen, to have a heart that is right before God. I am fully aware of how difficult this is. The body attached to these fingers belongs to a man who fights often against this thought of sacrifice (remember that Paul talked about the internal battle between the old and the new man in Romans 7). It is our job as godly husbands to subject ourselves to God, to daily bring our wills, our hearts, and our minds before God’s throne and hand them over to Him. Hard to do – absolutely. Necessary – absolutely! It is something that takes our reliance on God’s mighty power and His gracious love for us to do. And by the way, when God tells us to love our wives. He tells us to lover her unconditionally. That means that whether she treats you like the Bible tells her to treat her husband or not, it is a requirement that you and I love our wives – regardless!! Ok, I hear the groans. I hear the shouts. It’s a good thing you can’t reach through the screen and choke me. However, this is a hard concept for us men to get through our craniums. But it is a must.
Fourth, staying in Ephesians and looking at 5:26. Men, it is our job to lead our wives to the word of God. Remember, the shepherd leads the sheep to good food and fresh water. Spiritually, what better to do than to bring your wife to God’s word? You don’t have to know Greek and Hebrew. If you know nothing other than to read a passage of Scripture to her, that is enough – for now (Might I suggest that you start reading through Psalms or the Gospels). Take the time to study God’s Word for yourself. Buy yourself a good commentary and seek to understand what you are reading. Through the Word of God, you can lead your wife into holiness. Here is the important thing. You, yes you and I, have to be walking in holiness. That means we have to get the sin out of our lives, get ourselves into God’s Word regularly, and pray often (at least once every other second – God knows we need all the help we can get). Guys, understand that when we marry the woman of our dreams we can plan on someday standing before the Almighty God and giving an account of our care for our wives. The greatest opportunity to give God glory and praise on that day is to present our wives before God “holy and blameless” as Christ will present the Church.
Being a pastor, whether in the home or in a church, is a tremendous responsibility. It is something that we men can only do through the power of God, relying on His wisdom, and seasoning every action with prayer. God has called some men to pastor churches. He has called all husbands to pastor their own wife.
To accomplish this, continually seek God’s face in prayer and in His Word. That is the only way that we are going to be successful pastors of our homes, Men.
