Wives, I don’t want to leave you out. It’s only fair to address your response to your home's pastor.
So, what is the proper Biblical response the wife ought to have toward her husband? If you will allow me, let me show you.
First, wives, it is your responsibility to submit to your husband. This does not mean that you have to become your husband’s doormat or slave. In fact the term is one that should engender great honor to you as a wife. The word we translate “submit” is from the Greek hupotasso [upotassw]. In Colossians 3:18 the word is a command. The real meaning of Biblical submission is to willingly lose or surrender one’s own rights or will. Wives, you have been called by God to willingly place yourselves under the authority and leadership of your husband. Colossians 3:18 says that this humbling of yourselves is fitting to the Lord. Just like the man must rely on the Lord to accomplish this “unnatural act;” so must the wife rely on God’s power and grace to humbly submit herself to her husband.
Husbands, let me just say that you need to be a godly man so that your wife’s submission to you is not in vain. You and I, men, must lead with humility - meaning that we rely on God to be what we are supposed to be.
Second, wives, it is your honor to respect your husband. The Greek of Ephesians 5:33 literally translated is “but let the wife fear the husband.” This does not mean that you have to tremble before the mighty hand of the husband – sorry, got a little carried away. Seriously, it means that you wives ought to show to your husbands the utmost respect. Why should you? I’m glad you asked. The reason you should show your husband the utmost respect is because he is the man who has to give an account before Almighty God in regards to you. He is the man who has the great responsibility of shepherding you in the way of Holiness and Grace. He is the man called by God to be the head of the home. That is why he ought to have your respect. It is certainly a bonus if your husband is actively walking in his God ordained role.
Third, wives, by your being obedient in submitting to your husbands as God has told you to do, you may win the husband who is disobedient. 1 Peter 3:1 says, “In the same way, you wives, be submissive to your own husbands so that even if any of them are disobedient to the word, they may be won without a word by the behavior of their wives.” (NASB) Ladies, if your husband is not living a godly life your example of righteousness might be the thing that brings his heart back to God. The natural tendency is to rebel when the husband is an idiot. Yet, you might be the instrument that God uses to bring his hard heart around to repentance.
Being the husband and wife that God requires us to be is hard work. It is work that requires us to break down the walls in our individual lives and stand before our spouse exposed. A good marriage works because the husband and wife are not living with each other while hiding behind walls. The walls must come down. The hurts must be addressed. It is only when we act in obedience and take the respective roles that God has designed for us that we can truly have a blessed marriage.
