I went reeling this evening.  To call it “fishing” would imply that I knew what I was doing.  I went primarily to meet God and to talk with Him.  Basically, I needed to get square with God about lighting my own torch and trying to make it through the darkness on my own.  The reality is that I keep bumping into things that cause pain.  What I need to do is to put down the torch and let it burn out while taking hold of God’s hand and letting Him lead the way.

  

I suppose I ought to explain what I mean by lighting my own torch.

Who is among you that fears the Lord, that obeys the voice of His servant, that walks in darkness and has no light?  Let Him trust in the name of the Lord and rely on His God. Behold, all you who kindle a fire, who encircle yourselves with firebrands, walk in the light of your fire and among the brands you have set ablaze.  This you will have from My hand: You will lie down in torment.  (Isaiah 50:10-11) 

It is just like us puny little humans to think we know more than God.  We think we know where we are going and so we light our torches and head along the trail.  The only problem is that we have no idea where we are going.  You and I have no idea what lies ahead on the trail – danger or blessing.  We say, “It’s ok, God.  I’ve got my trusty torch.  Why don’t you just take a rest and let me lead the way.”  When we do that, I can imagine God shaking His head in sorrow, knowing that danger lurks ahead in the darkness.  We – I run headlong into trouble and then I cry out to God.  It would be a lot easier if I would just let God lead the way all the time.  In the dark, He knows where He is taking me.  It is simply a matter of trust – in God alone.

 

I don’t know why we find it so difficult to trust God.  He has never proven Himself untrustworthy (unlike me and many others).  He has always acted righteously toward us.  He has always had the best in store for me and you.  But, wouldn’t you know it, the darkness comes and I light that stupid torch.

 

Well, tonight, while I was reeling (calling it fishing is too kind) I put my torch down and took God’s hand.  Tomorrow, I will put my torch down again, if necessary, and take God’s hand.  I will continue to do that until I come to the place where I trust God wholly.  I hope that you will put your torch down too.  I don’t know about you, but I find wandering in the dark and bumping into things a bit painful.

 

I will leave you with this thought from Dan Allender:

 

“Trusting in God involves the loss of our agenda, our flaming torch, so that we die to our inclination to live a lie.  It requires forfeiting our rigid, self protective, God-dishonoring ways of relating in order to embrace life as it is meant to be lived: in humble dependence on God and passionate involvement with others.”

  

mrc