For the last few months I have been walking and living in hell.  The pain of this Crucible is greater than I can bear.  The lessons that I have learned, at times, seem pointless.  My faith and dependence on God wavers and threatens to shatter into a million pieces.  In the wavering of my faith and trust in the faithful God, my eyes fall to my circumstances and the wounding of my heart aches for the solace of God’s healing touch.  In the torment of my Crucible I wonder, “Why, God?  How much more do I need to endure?  How much more pain can You put me through?”  The answer resounds with deadening silence.  There is nothing but emptiness and hopelessness to comfort the wounds and the shaken soul.

  

In the pain and anguish of hurt my mind naturally goes to the example of Job.  Here was the man who was the greatest of all those in the East.  He was rich, famous, and righteous.  He had everything a man could ever want.  Then Satan came into the picture and God allowed Satan to put Job to the test.  Job lost everything but his wife.  Here then we see the deepest of pain when we see Job sitting on the garbage pile scraping painful boils from his body.  How Job must have hurt to see his darling wife in so much pain.  How Job ached to see his life’s work vanish in moments.  The book of Job records his words and the words of his friends as they discuss the point of Job’s incredible suffering.

 

As I was driving around today, I realized something about the book of Job.  When it came time for God to finally talk to Job after the silence, God did not stroke Job’s ego and tell him that He knew that Job would hold up under the strain.  He did not apologize or even tell Job the reason behind the pain.  God did not tell Job that the pain was over and that everything would be better than the first.  No, instead God directed Job’s attention to God.

 

In the moment when God finally spoke He said, “Where were you when I laid the foundations of the earth?” and proceeded to tells of the mighty works of God in Creation.  As God spoke one would be a fool not to see the splendor and the majesty of God – from the stars of heaven to the beasts of the earth.  Here God spoke and directed Job’s eyes to the One who can do no wrong.  Here God spoke and described the greatness of who He truly is.  In the pain of the moment God took Job’s eyes from Himself to the Creator of the whole universe.  In the pain of the moment God took Job’s eyes to the only One who truly matters.  God said, “Look to me.”

 

Job’s response was one of humble trust in God.  “I know that You can do all things, and that no purpose of Yours can be thwarted.  Who is this that hides counsel without knowledge?  Therefore, I have declared that which I do not understand, things too wonderful for me, which I did not know.  Hear, now, and I will speak; I will ask You, and You instruct me.  I have heard of You by the hearing of the ear; Therefore, I retract, and I repent in dust and ashes.”  (Job 42:2-6, NASB).  In that moment, Job understood who God is and nothing else mattered.  No more trying to figure out what was going on, no more discourse to soothe the pain.  In that single moment, Job understood that it no longer mattered why the pain was there.  What mattered in that moment was that God was there to carry him through the pain.

 

All too often we fight to suppress the pain and hurt of the Crucible.  All too often we seek to hide and to escape the exposure to pain.  All too often we run from the One who is more powerful than anything known to man.  In running from our pain, we encounter more pain.  In trying to escape hurt, we find torment.  It is not easy to surrender to God.  It is not easy to let Him carry us through the hurt and the pains of life.  In those moments of pain and hurt, we must fight the natural inclination to hide and embrace the God of life who loves us beyond our wildest dreams.  In those, and every moment, we must surrender to God.  Let Him capture us in that divine wrestling match.  And, in being captured by the grandeur and power of God, we will find solace to soothe the deepest wound and grace to meet every single need.

 

mrc